


Love, Lance

by Donts



Series: Langst [14]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Depressed Lance (Voltron), Gen, Graphic Description, Lance (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Two Endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:56:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22891375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donts/pseuds/Donts
Summary: A series of suicide notes from Lance McClain.
Relationships: Allura & Lance (Voltron), Coran & Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance & Shiro (Voltron)
Series: Langst [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635106
Comments: 4
Kudos: 111





	1. Dear Hunk

**Author's Note:**

> Probably my favorite out of everything I've written so far. :)

_Dear Hunk,_

_You are one of the most kind people in the universe and all a friend could ask for. You give great hugs, cook amazing food, and you always are the peace maker. When you make it back to Earth, pursue your dreams of becoming the best gourmet chef out there. I will be right there to support you, just not physically. Please, please, please don't blame yourself for this. I'm the only one to blame. I love you, ok? Thank you for being there when I needed you._

_~Love Lance_

~~~

Hunk hums while mixing the alien foods together, Lance watching from behind him.

"I love you." Lance blurts.

Hunk looks away from the food to Lance. He has a solemn look on his face.

"I love you too, buddy." Hunk gives Lance a hug. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Lance smiles causing Hunks concerned expression to disintegrate.

"Well, I've got to go talk to the gremlin. Goodbye Hunk." Lance makes his way to the exit.

Hunk chuckles. "Later, Lance."

The weird encounter with his friend slips to the back of his mind as Hunk resumes cooking.


	2. Dear Pidge

_Dear Pidge,_

_You're a genius. Like an actual genius. I know you are going to go to very big places (as if you hadn't already) and are definitely going to be a leader. You have so much going for you, so don't let me slow you down. Keep up the funny pranks you do, keep inventing new things, and please get some sleep. I love you space sis._

_~Love, Lance_

~~~

Pidge groaned and chucked her screwdriver behind her shoulder.

"Wow, watch it you gremlin." Lance dodged the tool as he walked in.

"Sorry, Lance. I just can't seem to get this right." Pidge paused before turning around to look at Lance. 

"Anyway, why are you here?" Pidge eyed Lance expecting some sort of prank.

"To keep my space sister company." Lance chuckled and sat down next too Pidge.

"Gross." Pidge turned her attention back to her project.

"Wow, I'm so offended." Lance grabbed his chest as if he had been stabbed.

Pidge laughed and put her attention to Lance again. She raised an eyebrow as to cue Lance to say what he wanted.

"Okay, okay." Lance put up his hands in defeat. "Wanna have a video game marathon?" Lance grinned.

"Hell yeah!"

Pidge ended up winning, but that didn't seem to bug Lance too much.

"Love ya, gremlin!" Lance hugged Pidge before leaving. Pidge huffed at the nickname.

"Love you too, goofball." 

"Bye, Katie." Lance left the room before Pidge could reply.

Something about Lance's word's made Pidge feel queasy. Maybe it was the fact he said her real name, or his tone of voice. It felt like he was saying goodbye forever in a way. Pidge ignored her gut feeling and blamed it on lack of sleep.

Afterall, where could he possibly go? Its not like he was dying.


	3. Dear Shiro

_Dear Shiro,_

_I've always looked up to you. You're such an inspiration. You've been through so much, yet you still fight. You not only fight, but you lead. You will always be my hero. I'm pretty sure you're everyone's hero. Make sure the team stays strong._

_~Love, Lance_

~~~

"Oh hey, Lance." Shiro looked up from the teams next battle plan.

"Hey, Shiro. What are you doing." Lance looked at the plans with curiosity.

"I was just thinking of what our next move against the Galra could be." Shiro moves his gave back to the plans.

"Well, don't strain yourself." Lance said with a lace of concern.

Shiro looked at Lance with a warm smile.

"I won't."

Lance seemed to hesitate over saying something before shaking his head. Shiro noticed this.

"Is something wrong?" 

"No, I just-" Lance paused, "I was going to say something but realized it would sound weird."

Shiro quirked his eyebrow expectantly.

"I was going to say-" Lance hesitated once more. "Well, you're my hero and I think you're a great leader. Keep up the good work." Lance's cheeks flushed slightly.

Shiro was taken aback but quickly chuckled before patting Lance's back.

"Thanks, Lance."

Lance smiled and said he needed to go before making a swift exit.

"Bye, Shiro!"


	4. Dear Allura

_Dear Allura,_

_You are brave, powerful, and strong. This is why I want you to pilot Blue. Take good care of her for me. Remember to think before acting on your emotions, though. You've been a good friend._

_~Love, Lance_

~~~

Lance walk in into the common room to find Allura getting her make-up done by the mice. It was rather messy.

"Lookin' good Allura." Lance laughed and sat in front of her.

Allura chuckled. "Its some type of challenge the mice wanted to try."

"Well it's going great." Lance smiled.

Allura had horrendous blue eyeshadow on, shaky eyeliner and bright pink lips. It was hilarious.

"Well, I'll leave you too it." Lance got up to leave.

Allura watched him walk to the door. Before he left, he turned and smiled.

"You're a great princess, Allura. Bye." Lance left.

Allura smiled at Lance's compliment before letting the mice do her make-up.


	5. Dear Coran

_Dear Coran,_

_I've been so thankful for you. You seem to be the only one to care enough to listen to me. You're like my space uncle. I'm sorry I won't be around to help you clean or listen to your stories anymore. At least you won't have to listen to me anymore. Keep the team smiling._

_~Love Lance_

~~~

"Hey, Coran!" Lance walks into the medical bay, where Coran is cleaning the pods.

"Hello my boy!" Coran smiles brightly at the boy.

"I'm in the middle of an, um, errand so I can't stay to help clean. Thought I'd just drop by." Lance gives a small smile.

"You're welcome anytime."

Lance struggles to keep back tears. He blinks them away. Coran doesn't notice.

"Thank you for always listening too me."

Coran pauses his cleaning and turns to fully face the boy. He pulls him into a hug and holds him there for a few seconds.

"I will always be here to listen to you." Coran releases Lance from the hug and smiles warmly at him.

Lance then gets feeling of doubt of what he's about to do. Should he really? The thought quickly leaves. He already had everything set up, there was no backing down.

"Thank you." Lance makes his way to the exit. "Goodbye, Coran."

Coran feels a since of dread and almost goes after the boy. He decides he better not get in the way of whatever errand he was running and gets back to cleaning.

Lance takes a deep breathes on his way to the last person.

Keith.


	6. Dear Keith

_Dear Keith,_

_I know I put up a front of hating you or whatever, but I don't. I admire you so much. If anything, I'm a bit jealous. You're strong, brave, and an awesome pilot. You have so much talent it's insane. I doubt you'll miss me, but I'll miss you. I love you. And don't be so emo all the time._

_~Love, Lance_

~~~

Lance walks into the training room and sure enough, Keith is there.

"End training sequence." Lance calls out.

"Hey, I was-"

"I know." Lance's voice comes out more serious sounding then he meant it to be which grabs Keith's attention.

"You looked like you needed a break." Lance shrugs.

"I think I would know if I needed a break, Lance." Keith rolls his eyes.

"You push yourself too much. Let yourself breathe once in a while." 

Keith is taken aback by Lance's kind behavior. It's suspicious.

"What are you up too?" Keith raises an eyebrow.

"Nothing, just making sure you get the breaks you need, mullet." Lance smirks.

"Well, right now I need a break from you." Keith's words echo in Lance's mind.

"Whatever. Bye Keith." Lance turns to leave.

Keith feels an overwhelming sense of dread as Lance gets closer to the door. Something wasn't right.

"Lance, wait." Keith steps foward.

Lance turns around, his eyes meeting Keith's. They scream out for help, begging someone to care enough to stop the Cuban boy, but it doesn't happen.

"N-nevermind." Keith let's confusion settle on his face as he ponders why he asked Lance to wait in the first place.

Lance's eyes seem to dull at his words and he turns around with a quick sigh.

Lance makes his way to his room and locks the door behind him.

_"I need a break from you."_

Lance dryly chuckles.

"I need a break from me too."


	7. Love, Lance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suicide takes place this chapter.  
> Read safely <3

Lance neatly places every note in a line on his bed. He takes off his jacket and leaves it at the edge of his bed. Tears start forming but he refuses to let them fall. Not yet at least.

He grabs his Bayard from his bedside table and walks into the bathroom. He doesn't want the notes to get blood on them.

Lance takes a deep breath as he activates his Bayard and places it under his chin. He lets the tears fall down his face as his finger squeezes the trigger.

It's eerily quiet in the castle when a gunshot is heard.

Everyone is quick to rush to where the sound had come from, Lance's room.

Pidge is first to arrive, only to find the door is locked.

"Lance? Are you okay?" She pounds on the door, worried for her friend.

When she gets no reply, she starts hacking the door to get it to unlock. Everyone is at the door when it finally opens.

The strong smell of iron fills the air, causing Hunk to gag.

Upon entering the room, a pool of blood can be seen spilling out from underneath the bathroom door.

Keith rushes to the door, letting the smell of blood grow stronger once he opens the door.

"No, no, no, Lance!" Keith drops to the ground and cradles the limp body.

Blood is splattered on the ceiling and a few walls, along with chunks of Lance's brain. There's so much blood on the ground it seems unbelievable. Lance's face was almost unrecognizable. The bullet had done some damage.

Hunk looked over to see Keith's back and a limp body of Lance. He quickly left the room and puked in the hallway.

In a state of shock, Pidge went to the bed and saw the notes. She began sobbing as Coran walked up beside her.

Shiro walked up to Keith and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"He's gone, Keith." Shiro strained the words out, tears falling from his eyes.

"We have to help him, we need to put him in a pod, get a pod ready!" Keith screamed.

"A pod can't bring him back." Shiro replied.

"It's my fault, it's all my fault." Keith began muttering and rocking back and forth.

Allura was frozen in shock, her skin growing pale as reality sinks in. She stumbles and falls against a wall, silent tears falling down as she faints.

Shiro drags Keith out of the room and sits him outside before helping Coran move the princess as well.

Everyone sits outside Lance's room in a state of shock.

~~~

Everyone sobs as Lance's body is thrown out the airlock, now one with the stars.

Lance had so much love to give and the team regrets with every fiber of their being that they did not give enough back.


	8. Happy Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance never gets to commit suicide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blatant klance, whoops.

"Are you okay?" The words seemed to come out on their own. 

Lance took a sharp breath before bursting into tears. Keith quickly rushed to his side and pulled him into a hug.

They stayed in the hug until Lance calmed down.

The two sat down in the floor both silent.

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Keith held Lance's hand to comfort him.

Lance took a deep breath and avoided any eye contact as he began to speak.

"I was going to kill myself."

The air was thick. Keith felt as if someone had just squeezed his insides. He pulls Lance into a hug which also causes him to end up straddling Keith.

Lance gasps at the sudden hug but returns it none the less.

"Why would you even think about doing that?" Keith's voice cracks and he squeezes Lance tighter, making sure he is actually there.

"You all would be better off without me." Lance mumbles into Keith's shoulder.

Keith leans back from the hug and holds Lance's face.

"We need you, Lance. You are important to the team in more ways than one. You always help us out in battle, help us feel better when we're down, you're just amazing. We love you, Lance, don't you ever forever that! I love you." Keith knows he's crying, but while wouldn't? What if your crush told you they were going to kill themselves?

Lance is shocked by Keith's outburst but he quickly snaps out of it and wipes the tears of Keith's face.

"Hey, don't cry."

"How could I not, do you know how devastated I would be if you died?!" Keith hides his face in Lance's chest.

Lance let's Keith stay there and thinks over everything. Even if not everyone cares about him, he knows Keith does and that's enough. Of course his depression won't go away immediately, he knew that, but with the support of someone he loves, he could get better. He will get better.

And Lance did get better.


End file.
